Clearing The Air
by WriterLeigh
Summary: "If you'd just shut up for a second and let me finish, you might hear something worth listening to." Sometimes something just has to give; and when Kate is tired of being kept in the dark, she decides to take matters into her own hands. Post Limey.


**Author Note:**

_Hey guys! There's a million of 'The Limey' based fics floating around at the moment and they are all fantastic, but I thought I'd like to add mine to the barrel. What I'm dying to see is a massive confrontation where they can vent any frustrations, so hopefully that's what this fic does. It's set the day after 'The Limey' and contains spoilers for 'Headhunters,' because I picture it taking place between the two._

_The rating is 'M' for some strong language, and sexual content across the two planned chapters, though the fic may end up spanning longer, because mine tend to do that on occasion._

_I'd just like to say thanks to canuckem, LoveJessieLou & JaydLouise3 from twitter for each reading through parts of this for me. Also to my best friends, Becca and Ari - for their oh, so helpful (not) but hilarious comments as I was writing this. Oh and if you want to follow me, I'm JustLeanneee _

_I hope you enjoy this, and would love it if you could let me know in a review! I hope to have the second part posted up sometime tomorrow. _

_Leigh xo_

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

_I don't get paid for writing this, so I think you can safely assume I'm not Andrew Marlowe ;)_

* * *

**Clearing The Air**

**Part One **

Kate looked up from her desk catching a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye. Expecting to see Ryan or Esposito, she was sure the surprise registered on her face when she saw Castle stood in front of the murder board. She also glanced at her watch and saw it was nearly seven. This was the first time in a month that he'd stayed beyond the time her shift finished. For a second she just sat there observing him, under the pretence of completing paperwork, and she couldn't prevent the beginnings of a smile from forming.

"I thought we established that staring was considered creepy," Castle's voice caused her to jump slightly, and Kate's cheeks flushed slightly as she realised she'd been caught but she couldn't help the little leap her heart made at this flicker of the old Castle.

"Hey Castle," She stood up from her chair, abandoning her coffee cup in the trash can beside her and going over to where he was stood, needing that closeness.

Castle glanced at her only briefly before moving away from her and focusing his attention back on the information written on the board, "Hey yourself," He answered heartily, although his smile didn't reach his eyes and that ever-mischievous twinkle had been missing for too long.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked, after an uncomfortable few seconds of silence had passed between them, "It's not like you to stay late anymore, no hot date tonight?" She tried to curb the bitterness in her words, but could tell from the look on his face, she'd failed miserably.

"I was just looking over the case so far. I think we've missed something- it all feels too easy.." Castle answered stiffly, and any other time they both knew she would have rolled her eyes and jokingly reminded him that this wasn't one of his books. He'd have laughed and it wouldn't have prevented him from offering up a crazy theory, but then she wouldn't have wanted him to.

Today however, Kate didn't pass comment because it was too much of a normal thing to do, and when everything else was weird between them it didn't seem right. "We can try and walk through it, if you think it'll help?" She eventually suggested.

"I've already tried," He answered shortly, capping the pen he'd been using and laying it on the desk. "I'm still not seeing any connection between the victims..I think I'll call it a day, it's getting late." Kate suppressed a sigh, disappointment visibly clouding her face. "Something the matter?" Castle asked when she didn't respond, but his tone was lacking in his usual concern.

"I don't know where to start," Kate answered hesitantly, feeling uncomfortable with his attitude but she knew she couldn't pass up the opportunity to actually talk it through with him. Especially when these days conversations were very few and far between. "I miss you Castle. I know I must have done something to upset you, but you're gonna have to help me figure it out here because I've been going over the past few weeks in my head and I keep coming up empty."

"It doesn't matter," Castle started studiously avoiding her gaze, as though he thought she'd be able to correctly interpret his feelings just by looking at him. "Don't ask questions which you don't really want to know the answers to!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She frowned, at the traces of irritation on his face. "Castle?"

"Just drop it Beckett, I said it doesn't matter." Kate had to lean forward to catch his muttered response.

She didn't bother to brush away the hair that had fallen across her face, just grateful that it wa slightly shielding her vulnerability from him. "It matters to me," Kate's brow furrowed as she spoke, trying to understand what he meant by the sentence. _Don't ask questions which you don't really want to know the answers to. _Of course she wanted to wanted to know just how she'd got it so wrong that he couldn't stand being around her, and why these days it was all she could do for him to be tolerant of her.

"Why?" He folded his arms across his chest and perched on the edge of her desk, "Why do you even care so much, when-" Castle seemed to think better of finishing his sentence. "Why Kate?"

"Because we're partners... we're friends," She replied in that same uncertain tone, "Or at least I thought we were, and I'd hate to think that something I've done has caused you to doubt that. I need you Castle. I can't do this- any of it- without you."

"It's alright you saying that, but sometimes actions speak louder than words," Castle still couldn't look at her because he knew if he did, she could convince him of anything when really he was sure she just didn't want to lose their partnership.. their 'friendship'. He'd knew he'd let himself believe her though, because it was what he'd spent the past four years doing. "I don't know what it is you think you need, but it isn't me, Detective."

Registering the usage of her professional title caused Kate to slam her hand down hard on her desk. Beckett was one thing, but Detective... "Who the hell do you think you are, Castle? You've spent the better part of a month ignoring me, what right do you have to tell me what it is I need?"

"You're right, I don't," Castle answered back, putting on his jacket, "And as much as I'd like to stay here and continue this conversation, I have places to be. Jacinda is coming over for a family dinner tonight.. Mother is cooking, so if I'm not in tomorrow-"

"I'll consider that normal, given your behaviour lately," Kate said pointedly. Her lips twitched slightly, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he got to her. "Don't let me keep you then, but you should know I'm not going to let this go," She said sharply, "Enjoy your evening."

Castle's jaw twitched as he felt a pang of hurt at the note of indifference in her voice, "You too," He muttered, seemingly on the verge of saying more but finally deciding against it and offering her a quiet, "Night' as he walked away.

"Until tomorrow," Kate whispered into the empty room, a sad smile flitting briefly across her features. She'd always laughed at Castle and his use of that in closing conversation, but now she'd give anything to hear him say those two words. He'd always insisted that he preferred it because it was more hopeful and God knows, she could use a little hope right now.

* * *

The doorman rang up at just after eight, to tell Castle that Jacinda was on her way up, and it was that which broke him out of his musings, which since he'd arrived home had flitted between Nikki Heat, and Kate Beckett. There was no two ways about it, one way or another he couldn't stop himself from thinking about her and it was killing him. Though he was expecting her, the knock on the door startled him, and flinging the tea towel he was holding over his shoulder, he pasted a smile on his face and went to answer.

"Hey baby," Jacinda almost purred the words, inviting herself inside and shrugging off her coat, which she then handed to him. Castle did a double take at the outfit she was wearing, because it left very little to the imagination and he found himself thinking that there was no way Beckett would be seen dead in that, and then almost as soon as the thought had occurred, he banished it to the back of his mind. His arms wrapped around Jacinda's back and he pressed a kiss to her lips, "Hey yourself," He said, flashing her another grin.

"Where are your family?" She asked, her own hands roaming across his chest, before wiping the smudge left by her lipstick from his cheek.

"Actually there's been a slight change of plan, and it's just us," Castle explained, "Alexis has a date and Mother scheduled an extra rehearsal." He wasn't lying either, but what he didn't tell Jacinda was that he knew they'd purposely made other plans. Martha had told him in no uncertain terms that if he thought she was entertaining his latest bimbo, then he was mistaken. And even though he'd orchestrated the dinner in the first place, he couldn't help but to feel relieved. "I'm cooking instead; if you want to sit down I'll get you a drink." He lead her into the loft, gesturing to the sofa. "Make yourself at home," He forced a smile before wandering back into the kitchen.

Instead of settling herself on the sofa as he'd instructed, she wandered into the kitchen after him and looked around, "Something smells great," Jacinda said appreciatively, alerting him to her presence.

"Well, I hope it tastes as good as it smells then," He said, glad his back was to her, so she couldn't see his face. "White okay?" He held up a bottle for her inspection, and when she agreed he reached for two large glasses. "Dinner should be ready soon."

Jacinda took the proffered glass of wine and took a sip, before placing it on the counter and making her way over to him, "Oh really- and how do you suppose we pass the time until then?" She tilted her head to one side, smirking and her hands began tracing the planes of his back wrapping around his waist and placing a trail of kisses against his neck.

* * *

For Castle, the evening seemed to drag as they settled to eat dinner; (chicken and bacon in cheese and broccoli sauce) and he found himself only half heartedly participating in conversation, zoning out on more than one occasion. "Are you listening to me Ricky?" He tried not to outwardly show his discomfort as Jacinda's pitchy voice broke into his musings, on one such occasion and he silently admonished himself.

Castle looked up at the sound of her voice, "Sorry," He answered apologetically- and he was; because she didn't deserve the way he'd treated her since they met. If there was one thing he hated it was men who used women for their own ends, and here he was doing just that. It wasn't a nice feeling, and he realised now it couldn't go on forever. He'd been naive to think otherwise. "Listen, Jacinda- can we talk?"

Jacinda swallowed the mouthful she was eating, and brushed the napkin across her lips, "Sure," She answered easily, crossing one leg across the other. "What's the matter Ricky?"

"We are," Castle answered honestly, moving to sit beside her on the sofa. "I've had a great couple of weeks getting to know you, but-" He hesitated, searching for the right words and coming up short.

"But we can't do this anymore," Jacinda filled in for him, her lips quirking upwards slightly. "I can't say I'm all that surprised."

"Please believe me when I say It's nothing personal," Castle paused for a second, "In fact four years ago you'd have been exactly my type - It just took me awhile to realise that I'm not that same guy I was then. Or rather, I don't want to be that guy anymore," He answered honestly.

"No hard feelings Ricky, I've had a great time," She flashed him another brilliant smile, before standing up, "I should probably head out though." Something in her expression told him, that she'd known all along that he wasn't really into it and even though it didn't seem to bother her, he felt guilty.

Castle lead her towards the front door, and handed her her coat from the closet, "I am sorry, you know," He told her, almost subdued.

"Don't be- I'm off back to Vegas next week anyway," Jacinda said, tying the belt around her coat, "It's been fun," She ran her fingers through his hair, "If you're ever out that way, give me a bell?" Castle nodded his agreement, but he was sure they both knew he wouldn't. Her hands wrapped around his neck and she planted a kiss on him, before sauntering out of the loft.

As the door clicked shut behind him, he sank down onto the sofa and let a relieved sigh escape, idly wondering what he'd been thinking for the past few weeks. Surely, there were better ways to move on than that. Lifting his head out of his hands, directly in his eye line were their uneaten meals and an almost empty bottle of wine. Castle stood up and abandoning the food in the kitchen, reached for the bottle and headed for his study.

* * *

Across town, Kate was also hoping to find the solution to her problems at the bottom of the bottle, although perhaps that was the wrong word. What she was looking for was a distraction; something that would stop her dwelling on Castle and his 'family' dinner. She hadn't drunk enough that she wasn't in control of her actions, only enough that it took the edge off her emotions slightly. She'd ordered herself a Chinese, changed into her nightclothes and was now trying to focus her attention long enough to be able to read the newest James Patterson novel, but that was proving to be a challenge. It had been nearly an hour, she was still on page seven and as she had to read the same line no fewer than three times, Kate realised she didn't have a clue what was happening. It was a losing battle, and with a resigned sigh she snapped the book shut and placed it on the arm of her chair. It was no good. Castle's words from earlier were still playing on her mind and even though she'd tried many different ways of interpreting them, she was really struggling to understand what he was referring to.

Toying with her phone, she briefly contemplated calling Lanie for a chat but got no further than selecting her details when she remembered the M.E. had mentioned having plans to her yesterday. When Kate had pressed her for details, Lanie oddly wasn't very forthcoming but she supposed her friend would spill when she was good and ready. She was scrolling through her contacts and automatically paused when she came to Castle's, unable to suppress a grin as she pulled up his picture. It had been taken a couple of weeks before the bombing; photographic evidence of the only time she'd convinced him to help her with paperwork (albeit resorting to bribery) and she wasn't sure Castle even knew she'd taken it. The desire she felt to call him and demand an explanation was overwhelming and she had to physically force herself to exit his caller information and lock the phone. Throwing it against the sofa, Kate ran her hands through her hair in frustration. If there was one thing she couldn't handle, it was not understanding, especially when she felt as though the answer was staring her in the face with all the not-so-subtle digs.

She couldn't sit there and ignore it anymore. Her apartment felt even emptier than it had before, and Kate couldn't settle to anything these days. She was getting less sleep than usual, and her eating habits had slipped because frankly she was too miserable to care. Aggravated, she dragged herself up off the couch and into her bedroom, quickly changing into a pair of leggings and zip up hoodie.

Not ten minutes later, her feet pounded the pavement as she fell into a steady rhythm, music filled her ears and she concentrated on pushing herself to match its beat. As Kate ran, all thoughts of Castle disappeared, and she felt free for the first time in a long time. She finally slowed to a jog, only when she could feel the beginnings of a stitch forming and stopping half a block later, only when she was forced to. Kate used a wall to support herself, doubling over in pain as she struggled to catch her breath. She gritted her teeth as she felt the dull ache from her bullet wound, flare up at the physical exertion. '_You're slacking Beckett,' _She mentally chided herself, draining the bottle of water she carried and tossing it into a nearby trashcan.

She leaned heavily on the wall, forcing herself back into a standing position and it was only then she became aware of her surroundings. Even though Kate had managed to get through her run without thinking of Castle, it seemed her subconscious had been unwilling to let it go because she found herself stood on the opposite side of the road, staring up at his loft. The building was well lit, and she didn't know what she was thinking- but before she could change her mind- found herself greeting his doorman and walking inside the building.

Kate hesitated at the end of the elevator shaft, trying to remind herself why she was doing this when Castle really didn't seem bothered. _Because you love him, dumbass_. She smiled wryly at the voice in ear, and was about to walk up to his door to knock when it opened, and out stepped Jacinda. W_ho was she kidding? This was a terrible idea. _Before she could contemplate what she was going to do next, the other woman had swept down the corridor towards her and Kate just stood there, like a deer trapped in the headlights. Jacinda's eyes fell to Kate as she walked past her to enter the elevator shaft, and the recognition dawned in her eyes, "He's all yours honey," She jerked her head back towards Castle's loft. Kate just stared after her as the doors closed, and after a second of standing gawping, she forced herself to snap out of it. After that, she wasn't sure she was doing the right thing but when it came to Castle, she'd already made her fair share of misjudgements and Kate felt that as awkward as talking it out would be, walking away wasn't the answer either. No, tonight she'd came here for answers and she was going to get them.

* * *

The knock on his door resonated through throughout the loft and Castle sighed, pausing halfway through unbuttoning his shirt. After checking his watch and seeing that it was getting on for midnight - he briefly contemplated ignoring it. He dismissed the idea instantly, knowing that at that time of night there was only one person it could possibly be. He supposed he shouldn't have been so surprised; after all, she had said this wasn't the end of it. He just hadn't expected her to turn up on his doorstep not six hours later. Pulling himself up off his couch and running a hand through his hair, he padded across the laminate flooring to answer the door.

"Ka- Detective, what can I do for you?" He couldn't help but to stare at her. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, several tendrils falling and framing her face, and she may have only been wearing leggings and an oversized police academy hoodie but she still captivated him.

"I thought we could talk about what happened earlier," Kate said awkwardly, feeling a blush creeping up her cheeks as she felt his eyes on her, and taking a few seconds to observe him. His shirt was half undone and she realised she was gawping slightly. She stepped past him and into the loft, trying not to look like she'd been staring.

"By all means come on in," He muttered to himself though from the look on her face, she'd clearly heard him. He pushed the door shut and leaned against it, pretending not to notice.

The expression Kate fixed on him was one he recognised from the precinct, the one that said, quite plainly, _don't jerk me around, I want answers and I want them now. _"I want to know what you meant, and don't you dare tell me it doesn't matter because it does!"

"This isn't a good time."

"That's been the case an awful lot lately-" Kate countered, "I've just seen your- uh- girlfriend leaving, so what excuse are you going to give me tonight?" Her hands fell to her hips, and her eyes never left his.

"I mean it Beckett, another time- I'm tired." Castle protested, knowing that it was a pathetic excuse but he was too exhausted to come up with better.

"Well I expect five dates in four days can do that to a person," Kate answered sharply, her eyes not wavering from him as she spoke. Up close, she could see the dark shadows under his eyes, and it was obvious he hadn't been sleeping well. "I'm tired too," She told him, "Tired of watching you flaunt some bimbo around, when everyone can see you're not really into her. Who are you trying to kid Castle?"

"That's not true," He said automatically, although he couldn't meet her eyes as he spoke. "And I'm not sure you're in any position to judge my love life- how was date night with Mr Scotland yard by the way?" Castle moved further into the room, indicating that they should go into his study.

"If by _date _you mean one drink, it was great thanks," Kate said coolly, following after him and pulling the door shut behind her. She couldn't help but to wonder how he'd been privy to that knowledge or why he was even bothered about it, when he'd concentrated all his energies on just being civil to her, "Colin was interesting to talk to."

"I'll bet," Castle unwittingly mimicked her words from the day Jacinda had first shown up at the precinct, and the silence that followed made them both aware they remembered the context.

"Anyway that isn't the issue here," Kate said, deliberately steering the conversation back around to why she was really there. "You can't avoid having this conversation with me forever you know, Rick?"

Castle just looked at her, "I don't see why not," He answered back, "After all it's worked long enough for you, Kate." The words had fallen out of his mouth before he'd given his mind a chance to process them, and uncomfortably, his conscience told him he'd taken it too far, but it was too late to regret them.

Something inside her snapped at his words, and Kate looked at him as though she couldn't quite believe he'd said that. He'd crossed many lines before, and invaded almost every area of her life- even though they were off limits - but she'd always thought he understood why she was the way she was. Apparently not. For the second time that day Castle jumped as her hand slammed down on his desk, "That's it," Her eyes narrowed, and she could feel herself shaking out of anger. "It's been four weeks Castle; four weeks of dirty looks and snide comments, four weeks of you only giving me- giving the precinct half of your attention. You swan off on lunch dates when it suits you and I bet the reporters on page 6 are having a field day."

"Well it's a good thing you won't have to put up with it for much longer then, isn't it?" Castle said casually, without pausing for thought. Inwardly, he felt a rush of guilt because however much she'd hurt him, he hadn't meant to break it to her like that.

Kate felt her heartbeat beginning to quicken; she could hear a sudden pounding in her ears and had to lean on his desk to steady herself, "What are you talking about?" Her words were laced with panic, and she struggled to remain calm.

An awkward silence lingered in the air as he considered his next words, and when Castle did speak, his voice came out quieter than he expected, "I've been meaning to talk to you about it."

"Talk to me about what?" Kate answered impatiently, and with every second of silence that followed her question, she became convinced nothing good could come of going down that route of conversation.

"I'm going to be shadowing another Detective for a while," Castle started, "Frozen Heat has a lot to do with gang culture, so I thought it'd be useful to see firsthand. You know how I like to be authentic...It's nothing personal."

"Like hell it isn't," She snapped, suddenly furious with him. "What's wrong Castle? Homicide not good enough for you anymore? Am I not good enough anymore?" She could feel her throat tightening, and the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes but the truth was that now she was more angry than upset. He came into her life, invaded her work, worked his way inside her heart and now he was going to walk away? Just like that.

"It's just research," Castle shrugged uncomfortably, looking everywhere but at her because he knew if he let himself meet her eyes, his resolve would weaken- and he just couldn't be around her anymore. He'd tried so hard, but his mother was right.

"That's bullshit," Her voice became dangerously low, and before Rick knew what was happening, Kate had him backed up against the wall, and she'd caught his wrist in a vice like grip, "Why don't you try telling me what this is really about?"

"Let go of me," Rick glared at her, silently willing her to take a step back out of his personal space because he could feel her breath on his cheek, and the familiar scent of cherries only increased the ache in his chest. Being this close to her was nothing short of torture.

"Not until you tell me the truth," Kate said defiantly, not breaking eye contact but she loosened her grip on him slightly.

"Oh so you can handle the truth now can you?" He struggled momentarily, releasing himself from her grasp and beginning to pace his study. The expression in his eyes hardened as he glanced over at her, determining the effect of the words. He hesitated over what he was going to say next and in that split second, seemed to lose any will to fight, "I can't do it anymore Kate, I can't work alongside someone who doesn't trust me."

"I'd trust you with my life Castle, I thought you knew that," She forced herself to keep looking at him, frown lines appearing on her forehead as she tried to work out how exactly she'd led him to believe she didn't.

"But you can't trust me with your heart," He answered gruffly, focusing steadfastly on the wall behind her, "I thought I could live with that, but I was wrong. I-" He seemed to hesitate on the words, the emotion shining in his eyes, "I love you Kate and I know it's selfish but I can't be around you every day knowing that you don't feel the same. It's too hard."

His words sounded like a distant buzz and Kate's head felt like it was disconnected from the rest of her body, _he thought she didn't love him- he thought- but lately she thought she'd been giving him all the right signals that she was getting there, "_What on earth makes you think I don't love you?" Her throat constricted in panic and she was only dimly aware that she'd started to speak, although some of the feeling was starting to return and she was quickly becoming more conscious of the situation.

"Because you wouldn't have felt the need to lie to me if you did," Even as he said the words, they still caused him to feel like he'd just been kicked in the gut. His defensiveness had returned and Castle didn't look at her as he poured himself a glass of scotch. "I know you remember everything Kate."

Her face paled, and she found herself having to lean on his desk, sure her legs would give way beneath her otherwise, "Shit- Lopez," She muttered, finally understanding his behaviour towards her over the past month. "You were watching the interview," She stated quietly, shivering at the haunted look flickering behind his expression. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because you clearly didn't think it was worth mentioning. You seemed happy enough to pretend it hadn't happened, I just decided to follow your lead." Castle shrugged, knocking back the drink in his hand and going to pour another.

Kate reached for the bottle snatching it up before Castle could, undeterred by the glare that followed. She stared defiantly back, the look on her face plainly saying that it was for his own good. "Well you didn't make a very good job of it; it was obvious that I'd done something to upset you. I just couldn't work it out, but now it all makes sense."

Castle seemingly ignored her words, "Why Kate? Why couldn't you just be honest with me?" He demanded, pacing the floor in front of her.

Watching him, combined with nerves that made her body tremble involuntarily was making her feel sick."Of all the ways I imagined this happening, this wasn't one of them," Kate started, having to force herself to get the words out, her words panicked. "You have to believe me- I'm so sorry Castle, I just- I didn't know how to tell you." She knew she was making a terrible job of explaining herself, and even though she'd gone over having this conversation with him many times, now when it mattered, she couldn't find the words.

"Because there are really that many ways of telling someone you don't love them," He muttered sarcastically, surreptitiously swiping at his eyes, "I'm a big boy Kate, I could have handled it, but no, you had to lie to me for seven months...what was it? Scared that I'd walk away, that you wouldn't have someone hanging onto your every word anymore? I bet you loved having someone willing to do anything for you." Every resentful thought he'd had over the past month bubbled up within him and there was nothing he could have done to prevent his tirade.

"Would you just shut up and listen to yourself?" Her voice rang out loudly over his, in her desperation to make him understand and maybe it was the sound of her on the verge of hysteria, but it caused him to stop speaking. "To say I'm your muse you're not very good at reading me," Kate spoke into the silence, her voice unnervingly calm to say seconds previously she'd been yelling.

"Perhaps if you'd said what it is you really meant, I might find that easier." Castle snapped back harshly. He hadn't wanted to be having this conversation with her now, but she'd had to keep pushing and he was sick and tired of their conversations always being brushed under the carpet. However ugly it got from here on in, they were having this out because he couldn't do it anymore.

"You can be such a bloody jackass sometimes," Kate cursed, trying unsuccessfully to keep her composure, "It wasn't because I don't love you that I kept it from you. I kept it from you because- because I do." She reached out to him, her hand catching his.

"Stop it," Castle said, jerking away from her and putting some distance between them."Stop telling me what you think it is I want to hear. You don't get to do this anymore- you probably thought I'd follow you anywhere and until a month ago I'm ashamed to admit I would have done, but I'm tired of it Kate. I'm tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve and I'm done letting you make a fool out of me."

"God damn it Castle," Kate's eyes glinted ominously, and she stalked towards him again, "If you'd just shut up for a second and let me finish, you might hear something worth listening to." He looked like he was about to speak but one look at her face, caused him to change his mind. "I don't quite have your vocabulary," Her words were quieter now. The anger that had been present in her face was gone, and now she looked anxious, unconsciously biting down on her bottom lip and irrevocably drawing Castle's gaze back to her face. "But someone once told me that actions speak louder than words," She added bravely, although he could hear the slight catch in her voice. Inwardly Rick winced as she threw his own words back at him, recalling the harshness in which he'd spat them at her and feeling a surge of guilt. "I know I owe you an explanation - if you even still care," Her voice faltered and her eyes were shining too brightly, but Kate Beckett would be damned if she gave way to her tears just then- not when she finally had his undivided attention, and not before she'd said what she came to say. "And I will explain- I just - I don't want you to doubt where you stand with me anymore- not when I've finally got this thing figured out."

"Beckett-" Castle started, her name caught in his throat, causing him to choke slightly and his eyes to water.

"It's Kate," She told him firmly, taking advantage of the fact that he was currently rendered speechless and invading his personal space once more. "Now stop talking," Her hands came up of their own accord and gripped his shirt collar, pulling him flush against her. "There'll be time for that later," She deliberately held his gaze, hoping that the expression in her eyes, conveyed everything she didn't yet have the words to say. Her fingertips briefly ghosted his cheek and goosebumps appeared on his neck as she kissed each point her fingers departed, and paused just as she reached his lips. "If you knew how long I've been dying to do this-" Kate murmured, her mouth millimetres away from his and her breath hot against his skin.

Castle hesitated for a fraction of a second; trying to take stock of the situation- something which was proving increasingly more difficult as her dexterous fingers disappeared beneath the hem of his shirt and began tracing patterns across the expanse of skin she found there, before falling to his belt buckle. She hesitated there though and as her eyes met his, Castle knew she was giving him a way out, should he choose to take it. He swallowed hard, unsure whether his voice would actually hold at this point, "There's - there's nothing stopping - you now." Eventually he managed to formulate a response, his arms threading around her waist, and holding her in place. The corners of her lips turned up and the radiant smile she gave him caused his legs to buckle, but before he had a chance to steady himself, her lips were on his and Kate was kissing him as though their lives depended on it. He remembered that feeling well, but this was so much more.

"You're something else," His voice was rough, and he could feel her involuntary shiver pass between them. Not giving her the chance to respond, Castle kissed her back betraying the hunger that had been burning steadily within him since the very first time she'd walked away from him- that deliberate sway in her hips.

"I told you you had no idea," Kate barely breathed the words, and the knowing look on her face coupled with that teasing smirk told Castle she was reliving that exact same memory. It seemed they were back in synch, and hell it felt good. Her breathing hitched as he drew her bottom lip between his teeth and Kate felt her back collide with his desk, barely registering the dull ache that followed. It seemed insignificant, and she couldn't think straight when her senses were on overdrive from having him pressed against her in all the right places but at the same time, leaving her desperately wanting more. Her legs involuntarily came up around his back, anchoring him to her. His hands fell to her blouse and he fumbled over the buttons. The accidental brush of his fingers against the underside of her breast caused her to let out a quiet whimper. "Take me to bed Castle."

Her teeth were now attacking his earlobe and eliciting a series of expletives as her body arched shamelessly against him. "Fuck Kate-" He muttered, and felt the vibrations from her chuckle against his collarbone.

"That is the general idea Rick."


End file.
